I had to change cubicles yesterday. This upset me greatly. Packing and moving after 3 years in one spot (6 at the company) is for the birds (and the interns….#shoutout to them for moving boxes). They are remodeling our offices and my section is next. I liked my space. I earned my space. And now I have to leave it so you can knock it down and build some open air, ergonomic, lime green, new-age bullshit?!?! Ok, fine. Save the trees and our joints and whatnot……. but I just don’t feel like moving. And you want us to “temporarily” sit by the IT people? Ummm, they are weird and they eat canned soups directly from the cans at the desks. No, sir, I will not! I literally pouted around the office yesterday trying to find a spot where me and my peeps could sit together to continue our daily banter, ingenious collaboration, and discussion on shoe deliveries. No dice 🙁 So now I’m in a cubicle that is barely big enough for my boobs surrounded by people who will not discuss RuPaul’s Drag Race with me. Boooooo!
Now my team is all separated and displaced like some hurricane victims. And I hear the sound of demolition in the distance as I type this. Sidebar: I thought about doing a “me & you us never part” handgame moment with a coworker as we moved, and then realized that none of them would get it.
I say all this to say, I realize that I complain a lot. It’s what I do. It comes so naturally! My name is Shelly, and I’m a complainer. I need to stop. So, this is my effort to stop & smell the roses.
Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Job
10. Free shit. Free lunch on Fridays. Free soda, fancy coffees that I don’t drink, teas, hot choloate, and trail mix daily. Random appearances of beer and wine on a Friday afternoon…….Wait a cotton picking minute……..we used to have breakfast catered on Mondays. What happened to that?
9. I’ve reached a point in my career where the under-25 seem fearful when they have to ask me for something. Fear not, young marketers, I am merely a large black woman in a position of power. I won’t hurt you.
8. Online shopping at work is market research. It really is. Not only do we do it, we screenshot things for each other and discuss experiences. There have been times when I got to buy something “as demonstration” and expense it. #awesome.
7. Even though the flight to headquarters is a waste of 6 hours of my life, and the only direct flight out of BWI is always at 6AM, I at least get to stay in a $1200 hotel room when I get there. If they could get Idris to be waiting when I arrived, this would be the #1 reason.
6. Official hours are 8:30 to 5. Me, myself, personally – I have not seen 8:30 in this office since 2006. I am just not about all that early morning shit. It is my solemn duty, as the only black person in the dept, to represent for CP time. I am not late. Late would imply that I ever had intention on coming at 8:30. 9:30 is my goal and I mostly make it. I couldnt tell you what time my people come in b/c my black ass ain’t there. And apparently my boss has accepted my 9:30 goal as well because she never schedules meetings before that. Don’t get me wrong, I put in work. Mama gets shit done! But it’s invaluable to be able to manage your time without someone sweating you.
5. If I just don’t feel like looking at my coworkers today, I can work from home and Skype folks as necessary. I have telecommuted from my house, other people’s houses, airports, Starbucks. I didn’t come to the office for a whole week in Feb so I could deal with family stuff, and no one said a word. No vacation necessary. Office or not, I always get my job done.
4. I work in the online shopping world. And shopping is fun. We aren’t saving the world, the trees, the ophans, or the puppies. Still, online shopping is happy times for most people, especially the ones who do it a lot. And I have some control over how happy or unhappy that experience is. Every minute of every day we get an email from someone saying how great a deal they got on a laptop, or that they found a purse they wanted for years, or that our financing allowed them to buy a plane ticket to a relative’s funeral they didn’t think they would be able to make. I can safely assume that I made millions of people smile, just for a second, every day.
3. They paid for my MBA. Because I had the balls to ask. After me, the company created a tuition reimbursement policy. Lesson learned: It never hurts to ask. $70K worth of education later…..my balls are HUGE.
2. Two words: STOCK OPTIONS
1. I get to tell white men what to do! Even Jewish ones. This is what I have waited all my life for *tear*. All my hard work over the years and I have reached the mountaintop! But to their credit, none of them seem upset about it. I actually don’t think anyone around here is racist at all….except me (obviously) based on this comment.