I shared this story on Facebook when it happened back in February but I figured it was worth sharing here too. It’s just one of those awkward moments I will never forget. And it’s also probably a story you’d only hear from me. They say a picture is worth 1000 words. So here’s at least a couple hunnid words about this photo:
Even though I work for a cool internet company that no one thinks actually has offices, we have your average corporate office with cubicles. Well actually my area was remodeled so no more cubes, but back in February I was in a cube. Walking to my cube I noticed my best work buddy (who sits in front of me) eating strawberries. She offered me one. I took it and sat down in my cube. Being the inappropriately-minded Scorpio I am, as soon as I brought the strawberry to my mouth I suddenly had an idea. Strawberries are sexy, and I’m sexy. So obviously the sight of me eating a strawberry would be quite sexy and should be photographed. So I stop myself from taking a bite and whip out the trusty camera phone.
My cube was basically the end of the line so it’s not a high traffic area. Therefore, I feel like I can do stuff without really worrying about people seeing me. So, I begin to set up the shot. Apply chapstick. Fix the lighting. Determine the angle at which my lips appear the most sultry. I’m sitting in my cube with the strawberry in one hand and my phone in the other trying to get the perfect shot. 10 photos into this shoot and suddenly the new guy (we’ll call him Texas) is standing at the edge of my cube.
Time stops. Neither of us know what to do. Here I am, clearly taking cell phone pictures of a strawberry in my mouth while at work. And here Texas is, not sure if he should walk away and act like he didn’t see it or make a joke about it or what. His face is a combination of confusion, laughter, and pure shock. AWKWARD!!! If it wasn’t the new guy at least they would probably have had some previous inclination that I am intelligent and hard-working despite being occasionally inappropriate. But it’s like his second week on the job and this is his first time coming to me at all. Quite a first impression, I think.
I immediately put down my phone and my props and try to look “normal” even though it’s totally obvious he was there long enough to see my photo shoot and his facial expression confirms it. He pauses, stutters a bit trying to figure out what to say, and then decides to just act like he ain’t see that shit. He asks the serious work question he had come to ask, I answer it, and he leaves. We never speak of it again. I wondered if he would tell anyone else but if he did no one has said anything to me, probably for fear of some sort of sexual harassment claim.
All because I got offered a random strawberry at work. SMH!